it wasn't me...IT WAS YOU!!!

I am a mother 
I am a teacher 

...I was *forcefully-unwillingly* resigned from my job due to lack of competency 
#knowlegde
#skills
#ability

I am helpless

I have to "throw my kids to the pond" and let them learn to swim by themselves

it was scary
I was frighten 

since P1 Calvin got a bad review of his composition and it continues until P3
the feedback form teacher shows how hopeless they are in Calvin's composition
it seems the bookworm in him didn't help him at all instead it led him to "the cartoon world"
when the scene jumps from one place to another and the story just not connected each other

I have 2 options
1st. help him with compo and guide him with my broken English
2nd. let him continue the journey by himself

I choose 2nd option because it much better than the 1st ones

there is a purpose for every circumstance!
there is a God's purpose that He planted in every circumstance that He allows in my life!

That lack of everything brought me down to my knees
#1 confess that I have nothing
#2 confess that I'm nothing
#3 admit that I need His grace and mercy

I pray without an answer
I pray without seeing any improvement 
I pray without any evidence that God hears me 

I pray and pray
I keep praying and praying
prayer raise up
#everyhere
#every time

I pray long enough...until...
... I have no desire for an answer pray
... I just love to pray
... I like to spend to spend time with Him
... I love to hear from Him even though He is not talking about my prayer
... I like to experience His presence

it is long enough...until...
the prayer answered! 
the evidence was given!

one evening... Calvin handed over papers and asked me to type then print it. Apparently, it was his compo and it was selected as the best short compo. Teacher asked him to made a hardcopy so she can paste into classroom's wall 

I was shocked when I read through his compo...I felt like somebody else wrote it! 






I was helpless now  I am full of hope
I was asking for help now I am grateful for His way to help me
I was in the dark now He is real in the dark

He is Jesus!

sometimes, I just look up, smile & say: 
"I know that was You Jesus! Thank you!"

I was praying long enough NOT to stop at gratitude prayer 
because I got something greater than an answered prayer 

I EXPERIENCE JESUS!
I GOT HIM!

the best thing about my resignation as a teacher is I'm OUT and Jesus IN!!! 





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